But the truth is we have changed a lot in the last year as well. To mark this milestone my wife and I (mostly my wife) wrote our son a letter. If you want to know the "words of wisdom" we had for him after a year into this crazy journey, you can go to our blog (Writing a Better Story) and check it out.
So what does this have to do with Student Ministry? Well becoming a parent has changed my perspective on many things, and so today I have a few of my own "words of wisdom" for all of our students & parents out there.
Let's start with the students.
1) No matter how long they have been at it - your parents are not professional parents. - They are figuring it out as they go. There is a ton of great wisdom and advice on parenting out there; but I believe there is truth to the idea that no child is the same. That means each parent is working on the fly as they try and help raise you into a functioning human being. So give them a break every once in a while.
2) For the most part your parents are functioning human beings - First, that means that they have been around the block a few times and they know some things. Secondly, don't miss the human beings part. They will mess up, they will make mistakes, and yes they will be wrong from time to time. It doesn't make them any less of a parent.
3) Your parents love you with a love that can not be fully expressed. - Trust me I wish I could explain to you how much I love that little man up above ... I've tried, but I can't. There just aren't words for the kind of love that God created between a parent and a child. I believe it's a glimpse of how much He loves us - so one day when you become a parent and you think about that it will blow your mind, like it has mine.
Ok now for the parents.
1) Your son or daughter is still growing. - I mean that in a lot of different ways. They are growing relationally, physically, mentally and spiritually. When they were a baby you could see the changes happening so quickly. Now as a teenager you may not like some of the changes you are seeing. Just know that they are still growing and the final product is still a ways off. Cut them some slack and help them discover who God made them to be.
2) Your child listens to you. - Seriously they do. I'm not lying. The problem is that they probably listen more than you realize. They listen to what you say, but they also listen to how you say it, what you say with your actions, and what you say without saying anything. You are the primary influencer in your child's life ... even if at this stage in the game it doesn't feel like it. While your child may seem like they don't need you as much at this phase, they need you more than ever. Be present, be encouraging and be available.
3) You are not alone. - As I mentioned earlier, it may seem like your son or daughter doesn't want anything to do with you. And there will be moments (maybe many of them at this phase) where you are the last one they want to share something with. But you are not alone. You have a team of people here at the church who want to be your voice. We want to say the same things, we want to build them up and encourage them. And most importantly we want to point them to God and the life he calls us all to live.
This year has been a great one and I can't wait to watch my boy grow into a man. I don't want it to happen tomorrow or anything, but I am so excited for the journey. And I am so excited for all the milestones that we will have along the way.
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